Uruguay no funciona a propósito y fue hecho así por los batllistas -es decir, por los uruguayos porque el Comunismo Chapa 15 Batllismo es la ideología realmente gobernante, lo único que conocen y se les ocurre, y lo que practican manden Blancos, Colorados, Comunistas, Militares o quien sea.

Porque el Batllismo y su burocracia es la manera de coimear y desfalcar y hacer como que trabajan.

Esta historia de un extranjero que vive en Uruguay, y que se compró una moto y quiso regularizar su licencia para motos los pinta de cuerpo entero a esa manga de atorrantes.  A la Administración y por lo tanto al país tal como él es.  He suprimido algunas comparaciones técnicas de motos, muy buenas por cierto. No es muy difícil encontrar el artículo en blogs sobre el Uruguay pero no quiero poner el enlace porque ahí la delación y la policía son omnipresentes y no le quiero traer problemas al autor.

El artículo está en inglés.  El que no sepa leer inglés, que aprenda.

With the spring comes hordes of motos flooding the streets of Montevideo.  In the winter, you still see a lot of motos on the road but when it warms up, you see more.. many more.

This year I decided to buy one myself to get around those days when my wife has the car and I need to go somewhere in town.  Up north, I drove 350-500cc scooters because I did a lot of highway commuting and I long ago tired of gear shifting.  I haven’t seen the fun in it for years.  Here, it’s all city so something smaller works out better.  I settled on a 200-300 size range scooter.  With all the stop signs, one way streets and traffic, a manual transmission would have been masochistic.

I first checked for used bikes.  Unfortunately, used bikes in Montevideo are ‘really’ used.  On top of that, the depreciation is minimal so I switched to new bikes.  Spent a few weeks reading through the Gallito then I went around to several motorcycle stores, windowshopping.  Finally, I got to the tire kicking stage.

[ …]

I ended up buying the Kymco250.  I did some research on Kymco first.  Kymco is the leading brand in Taiwan. It’s sold in the US.  It has a good service record.  Taiwan chinese are picky when it comes to their bikes.  So I went to the distributor and checked it out.

The distributor for Kymco in Montevideo is the Harley Davidson importer.  That says something about the quality of Kymco w.r.t. service.  They’re not used to servicing bikes for silly problems.  The same company is also the rep for Citroen in Uruguay.  The scooter comes with a 2 year guarantee.  That’s something relatively new in Uruguay.

[ …]

Montevideo allows you to make your own lane and weave in and out of traffic as you please.  That’s a double edged sword.  Great for making time but I’m sure it contributes to a good % of accidents.  The 250 is small and nimble enough to be able to bob and weave in the tightest places.

[ … ]   Y aquí es donde empieza el calvario de este buen hombre

Today, I decided it was time to get my local license.  I’d been driving around on my Ontario license for the past 2.5 years.  Legally, I was supposed to get my local license when I received my residenty.  Definitely because I’m here for periods longer than 90 days.  I avoided it because it seemed complicated and my spanish wasn’t (still isn’t) very good.  The last time  I went for the license, it was to Maldonado and it was a disaster.  The whole story is in another post.

Today, I had made all the preparations.  I talked with several people who said it would be easy.  My wife called a few days ago to make sure we had everything we needed.  But this is Uruguay, so expect surprises.

We decided to get our licenses in Montevideo.  I hear it’s easier in Canelones, but hey, no pain.. no gain.  So we showed up with all our documents and were told we didn’t have the right medical certs.  We had to go around the corner and spend another forty bucks to get the right ones.  The doctor who interviewed us said that since we had current licenses from Canada, he didn’t need to test us for anything.  So he just signed the form and we went back with it.

The clerk at the intendencia took all our documents and gave us another form we had to take to the cashier and pay.  The license fee to use your foreign license to get a local license is 800 pesos.  About $40.  We paid.  We took the paperwork to another counter and within 15 minutes, we had our new license.  That was the easy part.  Those licenses allow you to drive a car.  Not a motorcycle.

I had to repeat the process for my motorcycle license.  It’s separate from your car driver’s license here.  They said I had to take a practical test at a different location at another date.   During the process of making those arrangements, they told me that I couldn’t drive the motorcycle to the test because I wasn’t licensed for a 250cc motorcycle.  I said I’d been driving one for weeks on my Ontario license.  They said that now that I have a Uruguayan license, I shouldn’t be using my Ontario license any more.  They said that from now on, I couldn’t drive the motorcycle at all until I passed the practical test.  I got a little upset at that point, but the best was yet to come.  Motorcycle licenses here are graduated.  You have to drive a motorcycle under 200cc’s here for 2 years before you can drive one over 200cc’s.  The girl wasn’t entirely certain but she believed that once I got my Uruguayan motorcycle license, I’d need to drive a smaller bike for 2 years before I could drive my Kymco.  At that point I lost it.

So I went back to plan A.  To find a way to use my motorcycle qualification from Ontario to get an equivalent license in Montevideo.  After talking to a few ‘chiefs’, the reason I had to take the practical test (the most obvious reason) was because the document I got from the Canadian embassy only said that I was ‘qualified to drive motorcycles’.  It didn’t state what size engine.  That’s because in Ontario, if it doesn’t state you are limited to a certain size, it means you can drive any size.  Not so here.  It must clearly state you can drive motorcycles of a specific size, or for the G3 license, motorcycles with any size cylinder(s).

The ‘chiefs’ said if I came back with a document that had the same verbage as their G3 license in Uruguay, it was ‘likely’ that I wouldn’t have to take the practical.  I went to the Canadian embassy and explained this to the clerk there.  She said to come back the next day.  I did.  The next day I took it to IMM again.
The new form states that the M2 rating (as requested by IMM) has no limit for cc’s or motorcycle size. The consul threw in the last one just in case. But alas. The IMM said this document wasn’t sufficient because it failed to specify me in the document. Of course, I did have that document, stapled to the previous motorcycle document, but IMM took it away when they gave me the automobile driver’s license.

At that point, my wife came up with a great line. She said we were new to the country and didn’t know anyone who could drive my motorcycle to the stadium so I could take the test. On that item, the moto-matriarchy (that’s what I call licensing because it’s all women in charge), relented on the practical test but insisted on the medical. Perhaps I was looking a little fragile and disoriented this morning.

Medical for motos involves copying various objects from flashcards to paper. I guess the better you are at art, the likelier you are to pass as you get older. They let my wife translate the explanation but then she had to leave before I could doodle. Having passed that, next stop was the dentist. He counted all my teeth, said they were all there and sent me to the ‘reaction’ doctor. She said she spoke english so my wife didn’t have to come in and translate. But as soon as I answered her in Spanglish, she switched to Spanish and never looked back.

In this test, you keep your foot on the accelerator until a red light comes on. Then you put your foot on the brake. What I didn’t understand is that you must immediately put your foot back on the accelerator after you tap the brake. So as I was failing this part, she kept wildly gesturing me to take my foot off the brake. Eventually, for the last 3 red lights, I figured it out and she was satisfied my reaction time was under a few seconds. However, when she went to sign the form, she noticed something amiss where the doodle guy had signed. She sent me back to tell him he had to change something. When I told him that, he told me to tell her to mind her own business. At that point, I decided to go back to the clerk desk with my paperwork and hopefully, I was done. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

She told us to have a seat and wait for the real doctor. At this point, we joined the mainstream of old people (I say old because they’re even older than we are) and waited in line as they hobbled in and out with various infirmities. For a G3, you have to go through this. Whenthey called my name, I had to leave my translator outside. He said I cant have a translator because they would be reading the eye chart-not me!  BTW, I assume calling you is the first test. They call it very low and the room is very noisy. If you dont come to the door, you probably fail that part of the test.   The test is very fast. You read one letter from the last line. They take your blood pressure. How they do that without pumping up the armband, I dont know. Lastly, you look into binoculars and tell them which way the U (which keeps changing position) is facing. I answered in English. I have no idea if he knew what I was saying but he too was happy to get rid of me.

With the last test out of the way, we went back to the clerk who seemed to be taking great pleasure in our discomfort, finding our way through the building, searching out various doctors, in a constant state of confusion. To lighten things up a bit, she asked me if everyone called me ‘Fish’ at school. I said yes. In fact, they still do (eh Gab??)

Unlike the automobile license, you dont get the G3 immediately.   To qualify for the G3, you need a ‘carnet salud’ from IMM.  That’s a photo health card that establishes you’ve passed the physical for a commercial license.  A G3 is considered a commercial license…  So I gave to come back on Wednesday morning between 08:00 and 14:00 with a passport sized photo.  That’s to attach to the health card and laminate it.  With it, I should be able to pay for the G3, take the picutre and get it.

It will be nice to finally be legal, driving around Montevideo. Now when they stop me for not having the lights on, they can give me a ticket.

Wednesday:  I showed up and the health card was ready.  We had it in about 5 minutes.  With the health card in hand all the forms signed and stamped, we went to Section 2 to get the G3 license.  The guy at the desk offered me a date to take my practical test.  I said I already have a license that’s good for G3 and all I need him to do now is to give me the equivalent from Montevideo.  He spoke with his section chief and she said, nope..  She insisted I take the test.  I was running out of time – and patience.  I didn’t really mind taking the test but the date was when I’m in Toronto and since my Ontario license expires in a couple of weeks, I’d be driving the moto without a proper license until the next test date in January..  I decided I’d renew my Ontario license and simply put aside the Montevideo G3 until I was in a better mood.  Maybe in the winter when I have nothing better to do with my time…

That was all good until I started venting on Monday night to one of our friends.   She’s a lawyer.  I said I provided all the documentation according to the published rules.  There was simply no reason for not giving me the G3 here.  She agreed.   She called her friend in IMM a couple of days and he agreed to.  This morning I went in, paid the UYU800 and picked it up.  I’m glad this is over.

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Esta es la vida en Uruguay, es todo así.  Estos son los que se quejan de que los países capitalistas les roban a ellos.  Que son las víctimas del Primer Mundo.  Qué víctimas, si son unos atorrantes, unos sinvergüenzas que hacen las cosas mal a propósito para que nada funcione, unos gandules creadores de delincuencia, crimen y delito y que baten su propio bombo.  El que se crea que Sanguinetti, Batlle, Vázquez, Lacalle, Mujica, Astori, Sendic y un largo etc, que saben lo que hacen y lo hacen, o lo mandan hacer, están totalmente equivocados.  Esta gente simula su trabajo para tapar que no valen para nada.

Por Armando

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